Posting this to Facebook would seem like I wanted attention, but that’s not the case. I tried for the past month not to emotionally reconnect with my dog because I knew he was going to be put down soon. I even argued for it because I didn’t want him spending his last few months with strangers, especially because he has demonstrated serious fear of abandonment before. Today we sedated him because he gets scared of the vet (my parents think he knows what happens there. I think its cause he got his balls chopped off.) I was told sedation affects dogs differently—some sleep, some act drunk, and some get scared because they feel wrong. I stayed disconnected for my own sake until I saw him standing and whimpering, but wouldn’t come when I called. I realized what was happening when he just played down and stared at me. Finally, I put my feelings aside and just sat with him for an hour and kept him calm while his tries at yorking up the sedative failed. I broke down real bad, but was glad I could be there for him when he needed someone.
Eventually, I remembered we had dog treats and won’t need them soon. That jerk stood right up and acted like an excited puppy. I’m glad I could be there for him and I’m sorry it has to be this way. You’re a good dog Dexter.
Sorry for my poorly typed release. I feel like shit for needing this, right or wrong.